she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
