so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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