i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize