A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
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