I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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