If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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