Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
