speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
