is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
