$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
