she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
