I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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