im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
