He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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