You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
