I smell stomach acid.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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