I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize