Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
