I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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