i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
