I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize