Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize