That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
