I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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