it glows. i had to have it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
