I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
