I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm at about main and main street
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize