OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
