By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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