i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just saw a hot homeless man
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
