you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
