I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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