Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
