the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
