I skipped work to stalk him.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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