i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
