Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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