Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
