think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
