i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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