oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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