dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
