naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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