I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
