a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
