Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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