The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
