Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
