I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
