its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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