You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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