if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize