So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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