he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
