Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
