I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
