it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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