she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
