Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
