she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize