he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
