please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
