grandma shit on top of the toilet
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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