I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
