Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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